depression

Jan 18 2012

Is Depression worth it?

I read a very interesting article in the New York Times. It investigated a question I’ve asked for a long time: Is there an evolutionary advantage to depression? In other words, why is it still around? Does its hanging around confer an advantage to live stronger lives? Because of my bipolar disorder, I’ve lived with bone jarring depression most of my life. It’s dark, miserable, can decrease life spans, and wreaks havoc in almost all areas of a sufferers life. Is depression worth it?

I won’t bore you with the details of the article here, but I encourage you to read it. When all was said and done the conclusion stated that even if depression did give us some sort of advantage as human beings, it doesn’t make it any more desirable than other maladies such as cancer and heart disease. I concur.

Depression is an expert in wringing out hope from your life and knows exactly how to decimate one’s confidence and self-esteem. It’s all about suffering. It strains relationships and stalls careers. I have to work everyday to free myself from its persistent grasp. But I’m not alone. I have an amazing wife and family; fantastic friends, a God who cares, and the gift of treatment options that weren’t available even five years ago.  I am learning to thrive. It’s what I have to do everyday. It’s what we all have to do. It’s what we all need to do.

Given the massive disruptions of our modern world, depression is only going to increase. According to the World Health Organization depression is the leading cause of disability and projected to be the second leading contributor to the global burden of disease. It’s debilitating. Does its increasing prevalence portend some hidden asset to help us through the human condition? Is it setting us up for some kind of big breakthrough? I don’t think so.

But ask me if bipolar and its depression has been worth it for me, nine times out of ten I will give you a resounding, unequivocal NO! But there is that one time, the affirmative answer that haunts me. Despite its cruelty, depression has connected me to the deep angst of people’s pain and  compelled me to be thankful for every moment it’s not around. Though I desperately want it out of my life, it has given me the passion to “re-imagine a hope-filled world”. That’s my big why. It’s my desire for every keynote I give, training I conduct, and relationship I have. Maybe depression has set me up to be uniquely relevant and useful in this shaken, uncertain, and disruptive world. Curious that.

By Jeff Vankooten • adaptation, Attitude, depression, Depth, despair, Hope, resilience • 3 • Tags: , ,

Mar 7 2011

Why depression will persist

I've often wondered what evolutionary purpose depression serves. Its been around as long as the human race has walked this earth. Because it has persisted so long and has not been phased out, it must be beneficial to our survival right?. But why?

When I'm in its throes, I don't considered my depression as beneficial to my life. Even its effects on my life have been challenging: It has stalled my life vocationally, strained relationships, and done a real number on my self-esteem. Yet reluctantly I believe it must persist. It must not be eradicated fully.  Here are my reasons:

  1. In order to experience the full spectrum of human emotion, depression must be part of the mix. You cannot define happiness unless you can reference it to sadness. The reverse is also true.
  2. It slows us down and causes us to ponder the deeper issues of humanity. Most of the great poetry and artisitic confrontation with the world has been birthed in the depressed heart of the artist.  It gives the existential questions of life an honest hearing.
  3. Enjoyment of life is fully seized. Because of my depression, I am much more intentional about making my life truly significant. Time with my kids and wife and others is rarely squandered in my better moments.  I gotta seize the day.
  4. Depression makes us empathetic to the pain of others. People who have experienced deep depression can resonate deeply with another's pain, no matter how intense. It provides comfort and consolation.
  5. It inspires us to make the needed changes to make our world a better place. There is much about our society and world that is less than inspiring (you know intuitively what they are). In fact they can be downright depressing. Confronting the tough issues and helping to transform our world so they no longer drag down the heart is essential for a better world and a movement toward a meaningful future.

As much as I dread the moment of agony I know will come again, I persist in the belief that its gotta be good for my soul – and so I carry on…

By Jeff Vankooten • adaptation, Attitude, creativity, Current Affairs, depression, Depth, despair • 1 • Tags: , ,

Dec 21 2010

The mind’s two elevators

It always strikes me that we have yet to understand the complexities of our mind. We have been able to map out the physical components of the brain but we are uncertain as to where the various functions of mind reside. The brain and its corresponding contribution to our consciousness is a complex, magnificent, and wonderful dynamic.

One thing I have learned about the workings of the mind is its polarity. It oscillates between high mood and low moods. Think of it as having two elevators. One elevator takes you up and the other elevator takes you down. Like any elevator, we choose which direction we want to go and push the corresponding button.

The up elevator takes us to a top floor penthouse where a party is in full swing. The excitement there is wonderful (think of the birth of a child or the acceptance from a college). Conversely, the down elevator takes us to the bowels of the basement where our experience there is usually dark and dank (think of the loss of a dear one or the loss of a job). 

Taking both elevators for a ride brings us to the full spectrum of what it means to be human. Yet we know life is more than just the highs and lows. In fact, it seem to reside in the mundane, the first floor of existence.

On that floor are various rooms and hallways that we enter and walk every single day. The hallway of work leads us back and forth from our home to our place of employment. We walk it every single day for years. One room might be a marriage or other relationship that is lived in close quarters and can often erupt into challenges and frustrations. And so it goes.  It is our experiences in the room that leads us to wait for each elevator.

At that time we have a choice. We can choose to ride the elevator down to the basement or the elevator up to the penthouse. Often the situation dictates which one we will choose, but at other times we can intentionally choose to respond (push the button) to one or the other. Both bring us to different places and experiences. The problem comes when we allow our brain to leave the essential first floor of our lives and constantly live on the lower or higher floors.

Ride the elevators as you choose, learn the lessons that there at their destinations, but don't allow your choices to chronically ride the elevators.  That only leads to a diminishment of life on the first floor.  That is where the real life is lived, smack dab in the middle of joy…

By Jeff Vankooten • Attitude, Community, depression, Depth • 1

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