Category Archives: adaptation

Made for the struggle

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We were made for the struggle. The human race has shown an amazing ability to be resilient in tough times- we all wouldn’t be here otherwise. Exposure to struggle, setbacks, and adversity can steel us to function better than expected with future challenges. It is similar to an inoculation that gives us the strength to resist future exposure to a disease.

Often the deepest joy comes from going through crisis and growing into a stronger, more vibrant person. Meaninglessness in life comes not from having too much pain, but from having too much pleasure. As much as we might not want it, inevitable adversity leads to a depth of meaning that can be garnered no other way.

Becoming a stronger person because of adversity and setbacks is one of the deeper satisfactions in life. However, in order to thrive in the midst of them, we must make a choice. As was previously mentioned, you can either choose to let the situation shackle you with weakness and insecurity or you can choose to lean forward into the headwinds of the storm and find the strength to walk on through.

Choice is the choice to give up choices. When confronted with a difficult situation you must make the choice to give up the choice to give in. It must not even be an option in your mind. You must have a whole hearted resolve to face the difficulty full on and accept the pain that comes along with it. It’s tough though. And there’s the kicker. The weaker response of giving in to adversity is the easier way. That’s why so many people wallow through life. Giving up rather than getting up is a cowardly response that doesn’t take much effort. It’s also surrendering to self-pity and inactivity- the enemies of resolve.

Getting up from tough times takes courage and strength. Its a battle, and a tough one at that. It’s the wounds of that battle that leads to wisdom. I call it “scar tissue”. People who have scar tissue healed by resilience are the wisest, most vibrant of people I know. They become the sages that people seek out for insight on their own quest to thrive.  So, be strong rather than weak, spunky rather than dull, and feisty rather than flaccid.

The definition of resilience

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There are many popular attempts to summarize the challenges of everyday existence. Some of the more humorous ones are found on bumper stickers- insights boiled down to pithy statements. One I saw lately that made me laugh was, “there is no gravity, the earth sucks”. Quite an insight on life!
There are other avenues of course to describe life, from scholarly tomes to the movies (remember Forrest Gump and his “life is like a box of chocolates”?). My favorite description comes from a Jewish rabbi:

“Life is tough.   It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends, and what do you get in the end of it?…I thing that the life cycle is all backward.  You should die first, get it out of the way.  Then you live twenty years in an old-age home.  You get kicked out when you’re too young.  You get a gold watch, you go to work.  You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy retirement.   You go to college; you party until you’re ready for high school; you go to grade school; you become a little kid; you play.   You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby; you go back into the womb; you spend your last months floating; and you finish up as a gleam in somebody’s eye.”

I love that! Today though, it seems as if the gleam is gone. So much going on so quickly it creates stresses and strains on a continual basis. That isn’t to say that there aren’t wonderful aspects of our times. There are many. It’s just that past comforts and ways of solving our problems are fast receding. What is needed today is a new orientation; a new way of being, thinking and doing that are effective in engaging contemporary challenges. We need a mental fortitude and emotional resolve that are up to the task. We also need behaviors that are appropriate to the moment. So how do we develop body, mind, and soul capable of taking advantage of the next round of changes? Through resilience.

Diane Coutu summarized the depth of resilience in an excellent Harvard Business Review article and described its dynamic this way:

“Resilience is a reflex, a way of facing and understanding the world, that is deeply etched into a person’s mind and soul. Resilient people and companies face reality with staunchness, make meaning of hardship instead of crying out in despair, and improve solutions from thin air. Others do not.”

Who you are as a person is revealed most tellingly by who you are during times of conflict and crisis.  It's you're ability to bounce back and thrive from life changing times.

Welcome to the outer limits

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The old, funky television show “The Outer Limits” had one of the most creative openings I can remember. The screen you were watching would begin as a test pattern. Then suddenly it would begin to morph and act erratically as an ominous voice would begin to narrate,

“There is nothing wrong with your television set” it would intone, “Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. For the next hour we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer limits.”

It seems today that we have entered a place in the outer limits. The speed of change is mind boggling. We are held captive to a test pattern and we feel as if we have no control over our situation and its extraordinary changes.

The subsequent anxiety often expresses itself as a vice-like compression deep in the gut. Our thoughts race around in our skulls first thing in the morning toward what seems an insurmountable finish line. Days become reflective, many times obsessive, about the state of our lives and the condition of our world.

It’s no wonder. I believe we are in an unprecedented time of change, the likes of which have been experienced only a few times before. It’s an evolutionary exclamation point in human history.

Alvin Toffler’s "Social Wave-Front Analysis" looks at history as a succession of rolling waves of change and asks where the leading edge of each wave is carrying us. It focuses our attention not so much on the continuities of history as on the discontinuities–the innovations and breakpoints.
The First Wave in human history was the agricultural revolution.  It was during this time we learned to cultivate the land and grow fruits and vegetables from seeds.  It lasted for thousands of years.

The Second Wave was the industrial revolution. During this time we learned to harness the energy of steam, coal, and oil to advance the ability of machines to make work more efficient and our lives more convenient.  This lasted for hundreds of years.

The Third Wave of human development is what Toffler calls the information age.  This movement is only decades in the making and we are still trying to catch up with the speed of its change and its far-reaching impact on what it means to be human.

This is our time…this is when we discover what we are really made of…

That's the irony. Our true character doesn't reveal itself when times are sedate or situations are easy. It emerges when we are brought to the brink of intense challenges.  What a great opportunity to strengthen our resolve and build the mental and emotional moxie such times require.