Category Archives: adaptation

Relating in the ecotone

Posted on by
Reply

We see examples of it all the time.  The transitional zone between ocean and land, forest and grassland, sidewalk and yard, even hairline and forehead.  The area of transition between two adjacent communities is called an 'ecotone'. It is a fertile place, containing species characteristic of both communities as well as species occurring only within the particular zone – ie, head lice and bacteria.

There are five generations alive today in the United States.  This has never happened before in the history of our society. As such we find ecotones in offices, classrooms, families, churches, and other places that contain not two, but five different species of human beings.

These transitional zones are fertile generational communities that require behavioral nutrients for them to thrive in healthy, dynamic, and organic ways. Work them in to your daily life:

Revisit Assumptions: You need to be in constant vigilance of your stereotypes. We all have them (blondes are dumb) but are they accurate? Constantly test your assumptions about other generations by prefacing your interactions with, "Help me understand".  It is a precursor to rich conversation and understanding.

Relax Control: Life is messy. Relationships are tough. Managing is stressful. 90% of the problems middle managers and above face are ambiguous. It usually is not clear what the problem is or what the solution should be.  So lighten up with one another. As that great philosopher of our age Jimmy Buffett intones, "If we all couldn't laugh we would all go insane".

Return to core values: You are who you were when. That is to say, the values that shape your behaviors, attitudes, and expectations were set by the time you were a sophomore in high school.  Some cultural values change over time, but what about you personally? What hasn't changed?  What are you really all about? What are your 'nos'?  Clarify your values so they aren't muddled for others.

Model the highest standards: This behavioral nutrient interfaces closely with core values. Behavior is ten times more important than words in building respect. Does your behavior align with your core values? In other words, how is your brain, mouth, and hand coordination?

Engage the other: This is easier said than done. It requires you to stretch and expand your behavioral repetoire. By expanding your engagement across the five age groups you become more effective across a larger number of situations. I always say everyone has the gift of eating. Invite someone younger or older than you to lunch today.

It’s On

Posted on by
Reply

Southwest Airlines launched a new Ad Campaign on June 1st aimed at tough times. At the end of the ad a narrator intones that the airline doesn’t fly around tough times. It’s on, and they’re ready.

It’s on for all us…

It’s on every time our minds persist in discouraging thoughts.

It’s on every time we think we can go it alone without the camaraderie of those who care.

It’s on every time we stubbornly refuse to admit our fear and hide behind a facade of platitudes.

It’s on every time we avoid nourishing our souls with silent listening, contemplation, and transcendent faith.

It’s on every time our decisions preclude others who are in greater need.

It’s on every time we become too enamored with our technology to solve our problems.

It’s on every time we rely on massive military might to secure our happiness.

It’s on every time we stop taking initiative for the health of our relationships.

It’s on every time we live without grace.

This is the time of our lives. It’s tough. It’s on. Are you ready?

The constants of change

Posted on by
Reply

My main focus over the last twenty years has been helping people effectively migrate through the quandaries of contemporary change.  Without a doubt, the recent perplexities we are encountering are unprecedented in their scope and the challenges for us is extraordinary indeed.

I've discovered too the irony that change is consistent in its effects.  The larger the scope of the change the greater these constants seem to become:

1) It is frightening: Change makes the world seem less predictable.

-Franklin D. Roosevelt's first inaugural address took on an unusually solemn, religious
quality, and for good reason. By 1933 the depression had reached its
depth and the nation was struggling. Roosevelt’s first inaugural address outlined in broad terms how
he hoped to govern and reminded Americans that the nation’s “common
difficulties” concerned “only material things.”  It is in this address he uttered the now infamous words, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself". 

We must learn to harness fear's energy and make it our heart's ally and not its enemy. 

2) It is threatening: Change implies that what exists now is inadequate

-We can get so confident in the way we've done things in the past, that it is can be a surprising and agonizing moment to discover that it no longer works for our current condition.  When we are threatened by change we usually choose one of three stances in reponse: Retreat, Retrench, or Relaunch.  For me relaunching is the most adventuresome and leads to richer discoveries and deeper redemption.

3) It is embarrassing: Change requires admitting and understanding our past errors.

-Being vulnerable is one of the most powerful attributes we can harness.  I believe it requires two elements: Humor and Honesty.  Laughing at ourselves is one the most mature defense mechanisms human beings have at their disposal.  In spiritual terms, it is the closest we can come to confession. Being vulnerable forces us to get to the heart of the matter in deliberately open ways. It means not pointing fingers at people or the past.  It means taking responsibility. Honestly interrogating our hearts during change is the first step in moving through change unencumbered by anxiety, insecurity and blame.