Bonehead Questions

The following are reported to be transcripts of what
people have actually said — verbatim — in a court of law.  I have no way of verifying these, but hey, levity is good
for the soul.

Q: The
youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present
when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger
brother who was killed in the war?

Q: How far apart were the
vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until
the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you
committed suicide?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q:
How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q:
You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And
these stairs, do they go up also?

Q: You went on a rather
elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And
you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage
terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:
Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the
time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30
p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was
sitting up on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

—Various
Internet sources.